I watch way too much television.

Last week, I was enjoying a marathon of shows in the “World’s Blankiest Blank” genre (as Fry from the cartoon “Futurama” calls it).  This particular blanky blank was “Outrageous Television Moments”.  The producers of this show apparently didn’t even have the budget to run their clips in front of an actual group of living human beings, so everything was backed up by a hearty “can o’ laughter,” but that wasn’t the problem I had with the show.

The problem I had, was when they showed a tape of the televised press conference where then-Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was obfuscating the issue of WMD’s in Iraq.  The speech he gave wasn’t so much funny as it was horrifying.  Here’s the text of his response when asked if there was any evidence to indicate that Iraq had any intentions of supplying terrorists with weapons of mass destruction at a Department of Defense news briefing in 2002:

“Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know.  We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know.  But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

Now, I realize that the primary reaction to that is most likely, “Huh?  Could you repeat that a few more times until it kills enough of my brain cells for me to understand it?”  The second most likely response (and the one I had) is a moment of stunned silence, then a resigned, “Wow... and they put this guy in charge of what?”

The canned laughter, of course, thought it was delightfully and whimsically hilarious.

I think the only thing that frightens me more than the fact that Rumsfeld actually said it is, that someone who produces a World’s Blankiest Blank show thinks that it is at the same level of harmless humor as little kids falling asleep in their Froot Loops and drunken wedding guests acting like drunken wedding guests.

Yeah, it’s funny.  I get it.  It’s just as funny as, “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we.  They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” (“Dubya,” August 5, 2004).  What I don’t agree with, is that television producers should ask the American people to listen to the man in charge of the most powerful set of guns on the planet and think it’s cute-funny when he says things that make no sense.  Little kids getting mud all over themselves is cute-funny.  A kitten trying to attack his reflection in a mirror is cute-funny.  The United States Secretary of Defense, the guy with his finger on the Big Red Button, rambling like a schizophrenic mental patient is just plain scary.

Be first to comment this article

Only registered users can write comments.
Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment Tweaked Special Edition v.1.4.6
AkoComment © Copyright 2004 by Arthur Konze - www.mamboportal.com
All right reserved